1 - Which shocked you more: the Ethan-Uma split, or the humorous appeal by Spam's ad copy writers, following their guide to chopping spam, that reads "please do not use this knowledge for evil"?
Ethan & Uma. Those ad copy guys need to keep their mouths shut!
2 - Firth or Farrell?
Firth, most definitely.
3 - Wegman or Winkle?
Winkle!
4 - Which of the following best describes your intelligence level: a) low b) average c) high d) constantly, and annoyingly, brag about how you don't own a TV.
B...I hope
5 - Cpl. Upham or Cpl. Hudson?
Hmm. Probably Upham 'cause I'd get annoyed by Hudson's attitude. Plus, Upham could be my personal Babelfish in war-torn Europe whereas Hudson would only be able to make mostly unusual hand gestures.
6 - If a Hawaiian man named Jake Aiona moved to Connecticut and went on a killing spree, would Hawaiian newscasters refer to him as "local boy, Jake Aiona" in television broadcasts?
Nope. They'd refer to him as a "murderer with Hawaii ties" or "former Kalihi resident" or even "former UH-Manoa graduate and football standout." Yeah, that sounds about right.
7 - Which Friends series finale option do you most prefer: a) Ross and Rachel get married b) the Friends board a rocket ship and fly to the moon where they open a cafe called Coperniccino c) Rachel boards a rocket ship and flies into an imploding star, where a blackhole forms and her excruciating death is drawn out over the course of several billion years.
where's option 'D?' The one where Ross & Rachel board the rocket ship to fly to the moon and get sucked into the wormhole by accident? Damn. Okay, 'B.' But only if that Gunther guy goes nuts during the flight and ends up marrying Rachel.